


de·fen·es·tra·ted

by operationhades



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, JARVIS Does What He Wants, JARVIS exhibiting Skynet tendencies, M/M, Magic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, the title and the pronunciation in the summary do not match whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 15:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/operationhades/pseuds/operationhades
Summary: (dē-fe-nə-'strā-ted:a throwing of a person or thing out of a window )“I fell in love with you the second time you threw me out of a goddamn window.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> another 2013 fic, except as I read through this I was struck with the heart wrenching realisation that I actually genuinely _enjoyed_ writing this and I have no idea why I never finished it. Three chapters so far, around 15k or so, and another wip.
> 
> also, there's another fic in my hard drive called defenestrated!lawyer!fic and i am greatly concerned.

The first time Tony saw Loki, it was at that place in Germany with the speech and the staff and the, “Bow down to me, mortals!”

It was all very pretty, but not very smart.

The second time he saw Loki, it was when he was in the Hulk's cage and had just scared the living shit out of the Black Widow. But not really, because she gave just as good as she got, even if Tony could see that the words had cut deep.

That had all been very pretty, but also pretty damn _smart_.

The third time – and frankly, this was also the first, if one was thinking in terms of actually _meeting_ each other face to face – was during the invasion, when Loki had waltzed into Tony's tower and tapped him on the chest with a piece of glow-y blue staff thing-y. Because apparently, he’d wanted to mind-rape Tony too.

Very pretty, and absolutely, _incredibly_ , smart. Because imagine a Loki with a Tony at his side; Earth would have been lost the moment Tony's pretty brown eyes had glowed blue. (He's not tooting his own horn here, he really isn't. Ask JARVIS, hell, ask SHIELD; they know it – they used to have Tony on the list of Earth's Greatest Threats, right underneath Loki's own crazy green ass. They _still_ do.) That was also the time Tony really took a second to look at the god, to look at his hair, his clothes, his pale face, blue eyes and slender neck, to hear his words dripping with charm and seduction, to think, _I'd tap that_ , and not even feel guilty over objectifying a mass murderer.

That may have been the third time Tony saw Loki, but it was also the first time he _saw_ Loki. If you catch his drift.

It didn't really matter anyway in the long run, because the Avengers won, Thor took Loki back to Asgard to get a slap on the hand (and hopefully deal with the butt load of issues he was carrying around, jeez) and Tony... Well, Tony had to go see a man about a horse. Or, to be brutally more correct, Tony had to go see a villain about Pepper, save her (read: get saved by her) and have tons of bro-time with Rhodey. The only good thing that had even come of all that had been the time spent fighting bad guys with Rhodey. Rhodey was always great to have at your back. Way better than the Avengers, anyway.

(JARVIS would agree.)

So anyway, that was the first time Tony really saw Loki, that was the first time he realised that the good looking son of a bitch had a lot more going on for him than insanity. So Tony opened a new file, called it JADE because why the hell not, then left it to JARVIS to collect every known data and any piece of information they could possibly get about Loki. This included SHIELD's servers – the imbeciles really thought they could keep their shit safe from him? _Hah!_ – drunken nights with Thor (who got very, very, chatty once he was even remotely tipsy), and the internet.

The internet was amazing, okay?

So JARVIS collected all the data, colour coordinated everything and organised it all to his little computerised heart's content, displaying frightening degrees of OCD and paranoia to boot. The file had security on par with the arc reactor and the Iron Man armours (or armour, considering the others had all been blown up during a moment of sheer stupidity on Tony's part.) It was all very hush hush, and a great bonding project between Tony and his A.I. His A.I. who was very interested in the alien god himself.

(Tony had theories about that-- oh, who was he kidding? It was obvious why JARVIS was fascinated with Loki. Why on earth wouldn't an artificial intelligence be interested in magic? _Tony_ was interested in magic, and he was JARVIS' papa!) So they added little pieces onto it whenever they got it, worked on it as a side hobby, but ultimately continued on with the stuff that was higher priority for the moment.

And life went on.

They fought a couple of other villains, like Doom, who wasn't even _their_ villain but whatever, nobody listened to Tony. Nobody had really spoken about the whole alien invasion thing since, or acted like it even happened, which was great for Tony because he _really_ didn't want to talk about how space looked like on the other side. Everybody was staying in the fully restored tower now, including the super spies, but despite fighting crime on a weekly basis, none of them had really... clicked.

Except for Thor. Tony clicked with Thor like the arc reactor clicked into place when he shoved it back into his chest. Tony clicked with Thor so much that Rhodey started getting jealous and flew all the way to New York to stomp all over Tony like a possessive toddler. It was adorable.

(What was even more adorable was Rhodey actually _meeting_ Thor and Thor meeting _Rhodey_ and the two clicking even more than Tony had in the first place. And then all three of them going out for fun and showing Thor more and more ridiculously colourful alcoholic drinks with unsubtle sexual names; like Blowjobs, or Sexually Arousing Pomegranate, Thor especially liked that one, _hah_.)

So everything was great; Pepper was taking SI to heights previously never seen before with extensions into other fields, Tony was getting a work out figuring what to actually build _for_ those other fields, and Happy was just happy his boss wasn't dying in a ditch somewhere. Or in outer space.

And bit by bit - with Amora crashing in on New York and setting her lust filled sight on Thor, with Dr. Strange pretending to be of use to SHIELD with his many strange ways, with _Thor_ strutting around the tower with Mjolnir on his person, all three of them emitting magic like body odour - project JADE grew bigger and bigger. It was all theoretical though, nothing solid, but Tony didn't mind. Every bit of new entry was fascinating, him and JARVIS geeking out over the sheer _newness_ of it all, because they'd been around long enough by now to pretty much be bored with the present, and this was all so very _futuristic_.

Magic was uncharted territory, an ocean of wealth and knowledge, and pretty damn cool to boot. It kept Tony occupied and away from unnecessary explosions for a good, long, year. In fact, it kept him so occupied that the media started missing him, and began begging he do something eccentric like drunk-engineer at a party again.

But no sirree, Tony was _busy_.

Then, on a random amazing day, the sky ripped open and a battered and bruised Thor dropped in. And not alone.

Loki, equally battered and bruised, was with him.

#

“Whoa, whoa, you're saying Asgard was _attacked_?” Clint demanded incredulously, passing a glass of water to the god of thunder.

“Aye,” Thor responded, sighing heavily but taking the glass with a thankful nod. “The enemy is not powerful, so I do not fear for my people, but nonetheless it is... worrying that there are those that even dare to face us.”

Both gods – Thor _and_ Loki – looked exhausted, smoke drifting off them in lazy curls and making Tony's living room smell _burnt_. They were sitting on the largest sofa in the room, side by side, shoulders and knees brushing, both in identical poses, completely at ease with each other's presence. It was a far cry from the last time Tony had seen them together; after saving the world from an alien invasion the two had still seemed completely hostile to each other, however reluctant on Thor's part. Now they looked like brothers, albeit one dark and the other light, but Tony was the last person to go about opining on _that_.

“Asgard is the strongest of the Nine Realms,” Loki spoke, voice quiet and soothing, his eyes a bright green Tony knew for a fact had been blue before. The god of mischief only ever made eye contact with Steve, outright refused to look anywhere in the general vicinity of Clint and Natasha (understandable) and seemed uneasy by Bruce's presence (equally understandable, but still hilarious). Those green eyes sometimes flickered to Tony, but would always quickly look away. Guilt, maybe? How bizarre. “For any force to be willing to face up to it, it will only invite more attempts.”

“He should be in prison,” came Natasha's equally quiet, but not very soothing, voice, her eyes hard and cold. “How are you sure he didn't lead them to your home?”

Thor looked up, realising the question was for him, and Tony didn't miss his pained wince. Natasha had hit a cord with that question, but what exactly that cord was they didn't (and probably wouldn't) know. “It could not have been him as he had been imprisoned since being declared guilty of his wrongdoings. His imprisonment included no access to his magic.”

“But now?” Natasha shot back with deadly force. “Does he have his magic now?”

In answer, Loki twisted his hand and let it light up in the strange green of his magic. It faded away quickly, leaving no trace behind, but the silence in the room was answer enough.

Natasha and Clint were seething, fingers itching at their side to grab their weapons and take a shot at the god, but their training held them still. Bruce was taking deep breaths, keeping himself controlled, but every now and then Tony could see his skin tone flush a little green before receding. Steve just looked troubled, and for good reason too.

“Do you know who attacked you?” The Captain finally asked, resting his elbows on his knees.

Thor grimaced, but nodded. “It is why we have come to you, my friends. We believe the attackers were of Midgard.”

Clint sat up. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Aye, Hawkeye. It saddens me to say so.”

“How did humans get to Asgard?” Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Actually, how did you two even get _here_?”

It was Loki that answered, casually saying, “We used one of the less known paths. They are more dangerous, and run the risk of... failure... but it was our only chance of coming here without the use of the Bifrost.”

“Bifrost?” Bruce repeated, asking for clarification.

“I believe Lady Jane would be best at describing it. It is a bridge that allows us to travel between our realms, a permanent bridge.” Thor explained, scratching at his beard in thought. His hair was longer, but not by much, and now that Tony had noticed it, Loki's hair was equally longer, and a bit... wavy. It suited him, or it probably would if it also didn't look like it was burning slightly, and completely messed up from wherever the hell they'd come through.

“Friend Tony,” Thor continued curiously, looking up at him with a small smile. “You have been unusually quiet.”

Tony snapped his finger at the cue, startling Bruce and Clint, and pointed it at Thor with an exaggerated wink. “Einstein-Rosen Bridge,” he announced, mostly for Bruce's sake, to which the dark haired scientist made an understanding hum and nodded. “And also, humans are humans, we can handle humans. Tell us what they're capable off, big guy. Actually, JARVIS, put Fury on the line so he can hear this too. Don't want to have to repeat everything again.”

“Forcibly, sir?” JARVIS' polite voice asked, causing Steve and Natasha to frown disapprovingly at Tony.

Tony just grinned, not missing the very small startled twitch Loki gave at the voice, and said, “You know me so well, baby.”

“Indeed,” JARVIS replied, voice still polite to anybody that didn't know him so well, which, in this room, was everybody but Tony. “Sir.”

The call connected soon enough, the glass of the coffee table lighting up with a holographic display that showed Fury's angry face. The man slowly blinked with his one eye as he took in Thor and Loki, then looked around at the remaining Avengers and sighed heavily. “This better be fucking worth it. And Stark, fuck you.”

Tony just laughed, and flopped onto the seat beside Bruce, throwing his legs over the man as Thor started detailing everything he could remember. Bruce grumbled under his breath about personal space, but the way he leaned his arms on Tony's legs and used them as a rest spoke loudly enough that he didn't really mind. Plus, it had the convenient side-effect of relaxing the doctor too. Not that Tony was watching. No, his focus was mostly on Loki, watching as the dark haired god interjected every now and then with an extra piece of information, or clarification of something Thor had said, and maybe he was staring (because Loki looked up and made eye contact every now and then, and seemed... curious, for lack of a better word, at the attention), but he didn't really care.

He was Tony Stark after all, and if he wanted to stare at a god, he could damn well stare.

This would be the fourth time he saw Loki. But mostly, truthfully, it was the second.

#

In the end, Thor and Loki stayed, because travelling the 'dark paths' between realms was tiring and dangerous for anyone let alone a sorcerer that had only recently received his magic back and a thunder god that had never really learnt the term 'restraint'.

Apparently, Thor's innate thunderous magic had caused havoc in whatever dark place they'd been in, and the two had only survived by the skin of their teeth. Either way, Loki didn't have the energy or the will to try that again, and Thor was determined to find the humans that were capable of attacking Asgard and, as he put it, “Deal with them swiftly.”

So they stayed. At the tower. At Tony's insistence.

Sure, the other Avengers were quick to make it obvious that they didn't want Loki around, but this was Tony's tower, and despite a year of saving each other's asses, none of them were close enough to try and tell Tony otherwise. Bruce pulled him aside after arrangements had been made, and quietly said, “I hope you know what you're doing.” but he hadn't argued further. The super spies officially left the building an hour later, and JARVIS informed him that they had returned to their bunkers at SHIELD HQ. Steve just sighed, shook his head, and went down to his floor.

“Tony,” Pepper greeted him with a roll of her eyes as she entered, running a hand through her hair as she slipped off her coat. “You can't blame them for being unwelcoming. They weren't raised like you to be made of iron.”

“Natasha was,” Tony pointed out, wincing at her words and watching as she sat on the kitchen stool. He wasn't at all surprised that she already knew everything. “Not so much the others, I'll admit, but she definitely was.”

“ _Tony_.” Pepper repeated herself, giving him a hard _look_.

Waving a hand placatingly at her and her _words_ , Tony turned around to pour himself a cup of his newly brewed coffee, and sat down on a stool himself. “You not okay with this too? Unlike the others, you have twelve percent of this building.”

A sardonic smile twitched across the red head's lips. “Unlike the others,” she said knowingly, “I actually understand you. Never show your enemies ruffled feathers, huh Tony?”

“And always offer them a drink,” Tony agreed, tipping his drink to her without spilling anything. “You know me so well, m'lady.”

She stole the coffee from him, ignoring his squawk as she took a deep swallow of the hot drink and held it hostage between her pale hands. “That I do. So tell me about these humans that attacked Thor's world.”

“Realm,” Tony corrected distantly, mind already on other things, even as he mourned the loss of his coffee. “Apparently they use magic like Reindeer Games, and staged a home invasion via secret pathways only really skilled witches and wizards can navigate. I'm guessing they're people like Strange – the asshole that consults for SHIELD that I told you about? – yeah, people like him. Not sure what they want exactly, but Thor says the basement or whatever of his home is basically filled with hidden treasures.”

“Treasures that could destroy the world?” Pepper asked dryly.

Tony nodded, rolling his eyes in commiseration. “And the universe as we know it. Plus, they were dressed like ninjas.” Grinning, Tony nodded his head at Pepper's cocked eyebrow. “Thor didn't say _ninjas_ , exactly, because he doesn't know what ninjas are, but he basically _described_ ninjas. It's _great_ – can you just imagine a couple of people dressed to the nine like ninjas attacking vikings? I would pay good money to see that.”

“Unfortunately for you,” Pepper smirked, pulling a whole wad of paper out of thin air and dropping it in front of Tony like a death sentence. “You have work to do. Chop to it, Mr. Stark, I'll be back in a few hours to collect them.” She stood up and put on her coat again, gulping down the remains of the coffee, and with a sardonic kiss to his cheek stalked out of the room in her high heels with a parting goodbye off, “And be a good host!”

Tony watched her go, yawning a little as he glared down at the pile of papers once she'd disappeared from sight, and completely missed the arrival of both gods.

“Friend Tony!” Thor boomed in greeting, scaring the living crap out of Tony. “It is most good to see you. How do you fare, friend?”

Looking up, Tony took in the sight of the two gods – clean and fresh from a recent shower – entering his kitchen. Loki trailed behind Thor a good few steps, looking reluctant to enter, hesitant of his welcome maybe, but Thor just breezed through and opened the one cupboard he had pretty much claimed as his own. The happy noise he made at the sight of poptarts had Tony snorting, which, for some reason, made Loki relax minutely and fully enter.

“Sit, sit,” Tony waved at the seats, digging into his pockets for a pen. He found one and clicked at the end, spreading out the papers Pepper had left to try and make the pile look less daunting. “Everything's good and hunky dory, Blondie. How did you two sleep?”

Thor popped the poptarts into the microwave, then threw a companionable arm over Loki and steered him to the stool Pepper had been sitting in just moments ago. Taking his own seat next to his brother, Thor grinned at Tony and said, “Most well! It is great to once more be back in my Midgardian home. I must thank you once more for allowing us to stay, friend Tony. It is most gracious of you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” dismissed Tony, scrawling his signature on a sheath of paper he'd just read, moving on to the next without bothering to look up. “Great to have you, the place is all yours, feel free to use the kitchen and everything and blah blah blah, you know the drill. You good too, Silvertongue?”

There was a beat of silence, from both Thor and Loki, until the latter answered, “Yes. I am most well.”

Before the silence that followed could turn awkward, Thor asked, “Where are the others, friend?”

Ouch. Tony grimaced, wondering how to explain, but then decided to just go with the blunt end of the truth. “The spies went back to Eyepatch Daddy because they couldn't handle Loki over there,” he looked up to nod his head at the god of chaos, “Bruce had a seminar planned ages ago some place in Minneapolis, so he went there anyway, and Steve's down on his floor, or- actually- JARVIS, where's Cap?”

“At the gym, sir.”

“Yep, at the gym. He's only ever in his penthouse or the gym, so I doubt you'll see much of him anyway.” Tony summarised, gesturing with the hand that held his pen even as he returned to reading his papers. “It's good for you guys anyway, since it means you've got free reign to do whatever the hell you want without having to worry about stepping on anyone's toes. JARVIS will mediate between you and SHIELD, he'll set up appointments and meetings and whatnot so we can stay on top of the whole magic ninjas thing.” He signed again, moved the paper towards his designated done pile, and looked to the next. “Anything else?”

Thor sighed, getting up when the microwave pinged, and sadly said, “It saddens me to see my shield-brothers and sister still so very distant from each other.”

“Eh,” Tony shrugged, glancing up to give Thor a reassuring grin. “It might be slow going, but at least we're not at each other's throats anymore.”

“It-” Loki began, stopping when Tony turned to look at him. Swallowing thickly, Loki hesitantly tried again. “It has been a year since you've come together. Have you truly not banded as a team?”

“Oh no, we're a team alright. As long as it's on the battlefield. But outside it? Not much. It doesn't help that the ones that could maybe make a difference have other things to do.” Answered Tony. “Out of everyone, I'm the one that can charm and schmooze; I've also got at least one thing in common with everyone, except maybe Natasha, but I'm also incredibly busy being the richest man on Earth. Thor's next, because of his personality and the fact that he's on good terms with everyone except the Hulk, but he's busy and rarely in town for a week, and that's _if_ he's even on the same realm to begin with. All that's left is the super spies who only trust each other, a captain from the 1940s who feels like an outcast, and a scientist that turns into a green rage monster every now and then who has commitment issues. I'd be worried if they _did_ try socialising with each other.”

“I have failed this team,” Thor sighed, passing both Loki and Tony some poptarts. “Just as I have failed much else. If perhaps I extended my visits...”

“Impossible,” Loki cut in, picking the poptart and eyeing it curiously. “The Bifrost is broken and still in disarray. The Allfather cannot continuously waste his time and magic on sending you cross-realm. We should focus on our mission here, and maybe once the attackers have been captured you may focus on your team.”

Tony picked up a poptart himself, popping it into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully as he speed read through the papers. Sure, he trusted Pepper, and would fall off a cliff if she told him to, but years of habit and increased paranoia made it impossible to sign anything he hadn't read for himself.

“Your team mates are bothered by my presence,” Loki's voice said, cutting into Tony's focus and making him pause. “Yet you yourself seem indifferent. You offered me a drink, before, and now you offer me your home. Is it arrogance? Confidence? Or a veritable lack of fear?”

“Brother,” Thor warned, voice a low rumble.

“No, no, it's okay,” Tony reassured Thor, putting his pen down and absently scratching at his stomach. He looked at Loki, _really_ looked at him, and saw the lack of insanity in his green – not blue – eyes, the way he seemed older, _weary_ , as if he'd been through hell and heaven and _seen things_. Tony remembered seeing the man in his armour, remembered the monologuing Loki had given him, remembered the spear tapping him on the arc reactor and nothing happening. He remembered Loki _laughing_ in amusement when Tony had offered him a drink, and the consequent sensation of free falling as he fell through his own window and plummeted to what would have been his death.

He remembered how everybody had thought he'd have a fear of windows afterwards, or would just be uncomfortable around them, and how Tony had waved off Rhodey and Pepper's worries and told them he had bigger things to be afraid off. Because he didn't; he didn't fear the window he'd broken right through, he didn't fear falling, and while he had known and calculated the huge amounts of danger Loki posed, he hadn't ever feared _Loki_.

“I guess all three?” He answered somewhat lamely, resting his chin on his hand. “Arrogance comes hand in hand with being me, just like it comes hand in hand with being you or Thor. Confidence comes from the fact that I have the brains and the money to back it up, as well as the looks if I say so myself. There's also the fact that this is my home, my playing field, my _territory_ , and it doesn't matter what you try to do because I'll have a thousand and one ways to cut you before you try it.”

Loki hummed in consideration, even while Thor sat tense beside him. “And fear?”

Tony shrugged. “You pose the same threat to me that the super spies do and always have done. You pose the same threat Fury and his SHIELD cronies do. You were never _our_ enemy, just Thor's, and even now you're not _our_ anything. The day you genuinely start gunning for me is the day I'll genuinely start fearing for my life.”

“I threw you out of your own window.”

“I stalled you long enough for the suit to reach me before I splattered against the ground.”

“Your friends are nowhere around you.”

“I have friends you've never heard off, or will ever see.”

“You are armour-less, sitting right in front of me in nothing but cotton.”

“And yet I'm still safer than I'll ever be.”

Finally accepting this, Loki nodded his head and returned his focus to the poptarts, slowly and with extreme focus eating them one by one. Beside him, Thor loosened inch by inch, until he sighed and shook his head in exasperation, but looked more settled in his bones at the apparent truce between his brother and friend.

Tony just returned to his paperwork, satisfied that he'd gotten his point across. And when Thor and Loki bid him goodbye, saying that they were going to visit Thor's girlfriend in New Mexico, Tony watched them go and brought up a screen as soon as they teleported from his balcony.

“JARVIS, did you get anything?”

“An abundance of new information, sir.”

Grinning, Tony brought up the information and squirmed in his seat happily. “This... This is...”

“Indeed, sir,” JARVIS agreed, highlighting some of the information and bringing them up for Tony's perusal. “It would seem that Mr. Silvertongue emits a continuous amount of a single frequency. Most interestingly enough, it is in the same range as the Tesseract, and also Mr. Odinson's significantly smaller magical presence.” A pause, then, “Allowing both Asgardians to stay in the tower was indeed a good choice.”

“Hell yeah it was,” Tony grinned, sweeping the files into JADE and locking it shut. “Keep an eye on him. I want you to monitor _everything_ he does, at all freaking times, especially when he actively uses his green stuff.”

“Consider it done, sir.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sir,” JARVIS' soothing voice said over the continuous blaring. “It would seem that the city is being attacked by a giant, fire breathing robot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love this fic. i love this jarvis. i love this _thor_. why the shizzles did i not finish this fic? only the void knows. also, i scrolled through what'll be the next chapter just to see how much of it there was and only saw the word _tengu_. i have no idea why a japanese mythological creature is in this fic but we shall all find the fuck out next time i climb out of the pit of hell and update.

The alarm blaring shocked him out of his sleep, startling him into accidentally rolling off the bed and hitting the floor hard.

“Sir,” JARVIS' soothing voice said over the continuous blaring. “It would seem that the city is being attacked by a giant, fire breathing robot.”

Struggling up to his feet, Tony snapped on the suit bracelets and ran out of his room, skidding to a halt in the living room where Thor and Loki stood regally in their armour. “Shit, okay,” he breathed, hopping on his feet in pain at the cold tiles. “Who's on the scene?”

The bracelets started glowing, confirming that JARVIS was already sending the pieces up. “Captain America has just left and informed you to hurry. Hawkeye and Black Widow are already on the scene.”

“Jesus, what time is it even?” Tony grumbled, stretching his arms out just as the first piece of red and gold flew in through the opened elevator doors. The pieces crashed into him, pushing an _oomph_ out of him, but quickly solidified into metal and power as the HUD booted up.

“Friend Tony!” Thor boomed, slowly beginning to spin his hammer. “We shall go forth and provide aid. You will follow, yes?”

Tony made the faceplate retract, showing his face as he flashed Thor a confident grin. “You got it big guy. Take care, will ya?”

Thor returned the grin as he nodded, and with a starting run he launched off the balcony and up into the air. Loki, however, stayed still for a moment, eyes on Tony, the intense forest green of it tracking down to take in the armour. With a seemingly distracted nod, the dark haired god disappeared in a swirling column of green, leaving nothing behind.

“You got that, right J?” Tony demanded, even as he followed Thor's lead and moved to the balcony, repulsors whining as he flew off.

“Of course, sir.”

“Excellent,” Tony grinned, shooting off into the still dark sky and towards the action. “I don't even care how early it freaking is, this whole thing with the ninjas is going to be the best birthday present _ever_.”

Never one to let Tony get the last word, JARVIS said, “Your birthday was last week, sir.”

Tony cursed, even as he spun prettily in the air, then cursed again when he came up into view of the giant fire breathing robot. “J, that's a giant, fire breathing, _dragon robot_.”

“Indeed, it would seem that would be so. It is still, however, a robot, sir, and not actually a dragon.”

Flying slightly closer, Tony arrived just in time to see Thor swing his hammer at the thing, and for the dragon- no, wait, _robot_ \- to bat it aside like it meant nothing. Clint was next, shooting an arrow at one of the holes that were meant to be eyes, but nothing happened. Natasha was doing acrobatics, though why exactly was beyond Tony, and the lack of angry roar meant Bruce was nowhere in the near vicinity – oh right, still in Missouri or whatever – but probably still working with the other science wizards over the phone to try and find a weak point. He'd certainly be watching all this on the news anyway, Tony could already spot the press camped out in white vans with their cameras.

“Where's Cap, JARVIS?” Tony demanded after a moment, not seeing the blue and red shield anywhere. “JARVIS?”

“Sir, it would seem Captain America has been eaten by the giant, fire breathing robot.”

Of course. Because that's exactly what they needed.

Tony spun around the metal beast, HUD going crazy to find something they'd missed, but whoever had built the damn thing had something more than science going on for them. His readings were telling him magic was all but _dripping_ off the thing, which meant wherever Cap had gotten too was probably magical in nature. He wondered if he should go in after him, travel into the gaping maw of the fire breathing dragon (whoops, still a robot), but then decided against it when he realised Pepper would _murder_ him if he did.

Still, he couldn't exactly let the good (stubborn, annoying, irritatingly goody-two-shoes) captain stay eaten, that would be detrimental to team health, plus it'd be bad press for the Avengers as a whole. Also, his minions in the R&D department would cry, because each and every one of them had a total hard-on for Captain goddamn America.

Basically, he totally couldn't let Rogers stay dead. And since he couldn't go _into_ the robot's belly to see what was inside, he'd just have to make the robot's belly come _out_ and show him all it's pretty little diamonds.

Experimenting, Tony shot a high-powered blast at the robot, taking in the way it rocked at the hit and responded to it by breathing a column of fire at him. Ducking underneath it, Tony cringed as the temperature suddenly rose in his suit, sweat beginning to bead on his temples and drip down to his neck, and shot a few more. The hits all landed, and they all pissed the robot off more than Clint's arrows or Thor's lightning did, which was strange and suspicious and slightly fascinating.

"Sir," JARVIS' prim voice cut through his thoughts, the HUD lighting up with pieces of new data. "I can detect a faint frequency from the robot's chest body similar to that of the tesseract and Mr. Silvertongue."

Which was most probably the power source. And since it was similar to the tesseract and Loki, Tony now knew magic was _definitely_ in play. "Can you connect me to Loki? Actually, where the hell is he even?"

"Right here, Man of Iron." Came the smooth reply, Loki standing on thin air right behind Tony. "I presume you know that the beast has a core of magic, yes?"

 _One similar to yours_ , Tony thought but didn't say. "Yup," he answered instead, hovering in the air for a moment before flying over a beam of fire aimed for his dick. Vindictive fucking dragon- nope, _robot_. "And for some reason my repulsors work best."

Loki frowned at him, looking half thoughtful and half disgruntled. "For the same reason the staff had no effect on you, I presume."

Huh. Arc reactor tech? That sounded possibly. "So what, is there a way to use that to our advantage here?" And wait, actually, since when did Loki decide to help them out anyway? Or maybe he was just sticking close to Thor considering the rest of Midgard wanted his head on a stick. Tony would too, if it was him.

"If you could wound the beast," Loki's voice brought Tony out of his wayward thoughts. "Then I could enter it and free the Captain, and maybe also find the energy source."

Thinking on it, Tony experimentally racked up all the power to the unibeam, did some fancy flying to get close to the robot, and braced himself as he let the power go.

The robot screeched, thwacked an arm at him, but its armour stayed intact.

 _"Stark!"_ Black Widow's voice filtered through his comms, Tony dizzyingly trying to recover from the hit. _"Report!"_

"'Am okay," Tony wheezed, checking his HUD to confirm it. "All systems go. Just a love tap, for a dragon anyway."

Hawkeye snickered at that, letting loose another arrow that exploded on the robot's shoulder.

"Gonna need more juice," Tony informed Loki, mind already racing to figure out how. Loki stared at him, green eyes piercing, then both of them turned to look at the sudden sound of rumbling that came from the sky.

It was the god of thunder, spinning his hammer above him, gaining momentum with the appearance of rolling dark clouds and flashes of lightning, and the idea hit Tony right in the face at the exact same time it did Loki.

"Thor." They both said at the same time, whipping their heads to each other in surprise.

Loki was the first to recover from his shock, urgently demanding, "Can your armour handle the power?"

"Hells yes," Tony answered immediately, even as JARVIS very pointedly cleared his throat and put up data showing that no, actually, it most definitely could not. "Circulate anything beyond maximum capacity to the grid," he told JARVIS, watching as Loki flew up to his brother to speak to him since comms never stayed working for long around Thor. "If you can't, put it into the arc reactor."

"Sir," JARVIS responded disapprovingly, "That could generate unpleasant results. Mostly in your death."

"Or it could increase efficiency of the arc reactor and New York's electricity status, who knows. It worked that last time in the forest in Germany, right? We don't have time to argue about schematics, anyway, J, just try your best, I trust you."

"I fear I may one day be unable to validate that trust, sir," JARVIS said, all but sighing if he actually could. "But very well. Besides, it would seem Mr. Odinson has already been informed of the plan. Perhaps you should do the same for Agent Romanov, Barton and Coulson, sir."

Shit, he'd been hoping JARVIS wouldn't mention that. "What're the chances they'll be okay with the idea?"

"Considering the betrayal they no doubt feel from you allowing their worst enemy to stay under your roof, it is unknown whether or not they'd have any opinion on the matter. Captain Rogers and Dr. Banner, however, would most definitely be against such a course of action. As would Ms. Potts, Colonel Rhodes, and Mr. Hogan. I'm sure you already know about my own disapproval of this."

A long list of names, Tony mused as the thunder roared above him. Much longer then it had been a few years ago, even if the only addition to it was four extra names that weren't currently pissed at him.

"Yeah," he said in reply after a while. "I know."

It was then that he looked up, at the striking figures of Thor and Loki, both in their impressive armour, and Tony felt the whisper, "Brace yourself, Man of Iron," in his ear, Loki's voice a caress, and Thor followed it up with a booming shout of, "For Midgard!" and let loose a torrent of lightning.

It hit him like a freight train, the lightning, bright white light encompassing everything from his suit to his body to his _sight_ , turning the world to mute, blessed silence and his body inside out. The HUD was the first thing to enter his vision again, the sound of alarms blaring making way to his hearing along with JARVIS calmly calling his name, only a small hint of panic beneath his British voice.

800% POWER the HUD told him, everything popping up red before going green in a sign of everything being _beyond_ optimum capacity. His body - his _chest_ \- felt like it was _alive_ , he could feel the energy, the _power_ , thrumming through his bones like a heavy techno bass, thud thud thudding with every pump pump pumping of his heart.

Tony felt like shouting in exultation, so he did, throwing the repulsors to full power and bursting towards the robot. He got their faster than he ever could - pretty sure he broke the _light_ barrier, never mind sound, but no, he was probably just exaggerating with that.

"Everything, and I mean _everything_ , to the unibeam, J," Tony grinned, coming to a stop right in front of the robot's belly. "Suck me dry, baby."

The unibeam roared to life - much faster than usual, probably because everything was _already there_ \- and Tony had just the mind to say on speakers, "You're up, Loki," before every piece of energy he had burst out of the unibeam and tore right through the dragon.

It screeched, a blood curdling cry that sounded in no way mechanical, and before Loki could even duck in Steve came tumbling out with a bewildered expression. Tony ducked and caught him before he could hit the ground, pleasantly surprised to see JARVIS had left him enough power to have the suit's sensor proclaim 80% POWER. That was awfully nice of the A.I., especially considering the fact Tony had probably pissed him off with this stunt.

"You okay there, Cap?" He asked out loud, his HUD showing him the dark figure of Loki ducking into the opened hole of the robot.

 _"Um, yeah,"_ Steve responded over the comms, meaning whatever magic field he'd been in had been the reason for him not responding to anybody from the moment he'd disappeared into the robot's maw. Good to know. _"Thanks for the save, Iron Man."_

"Anytime, Cap," Tony grinned, still riding on the high of heavenly (or Asgardian-ly?) power. Jesus, no wonder Thor was always ridiculously happy; Tony felt better than he had in _years_! "Seriously need to do that again."

"Absolutely not," JARVIS replied sternly, just as Loki burst out of the robot with a blue orb in his hands and the robot toppled to the ground with a last and final, whaling shriek. "I must implore that you do no such thing ever again, Sir."

"Sure, sure," Tony answered dismissively, circling in the air around the slowly disintegrating robot. "Hey guys, should that thing be disintegrating?"

"I have taken its core," Loki answered him, apparently broadcasting his voice to all of them if the startled curse Clint let out was any sign. "It cannot live without it."

" _You mean it was **alive**?_" Bruce. Tony _knew_ he'd be pitching in with the scientists for recon and whatever-majig the others even did when they were injured/far away to be of any physical help. Tony didn't know because he was usually getting pounced on by Pepper to work on SI whenever he couldn't join a battle, so whatever.

" _It sure as heck felt like it where I was_." Steve mused to himself in answer.

" _And what will you do with the core, Mr. Laufeyson?"_ Coulson's voice filtered through the comms, bland and dangerously polite.

Unconsciously, Tony held his breath, wondering how the very first contact between the two since the Chitauri invasion would go. He had no idea how Coulson felt about his almost-killer, what he thought about Tony housing him and essentially kicking out his agents (even if they _had_ left on their own). Hell, he had no idea what _Loki_ thought of Coulson, and if Thor even _knew_ if the agent they'd all believed dead was actually alive.

Thor's consequent loud and happy, "SON OF COUL! YOU LIVE!" answered at least one of Tony's questions.

"I plan on doing nothing with the core, Agent Coulson," Loki smoothly replied to the question as Tony carefully dropped Steve off beside a glowering Natasha. "Except to hand it to Stark. His tower has the best means of containment until I can trace its signature and use it to find the creator."

Landing himself, Tony swayed a little as his body suddenly decided that right then was a great time to react logically to getting struck by Asgardian lightning. His suit's joints locked slightly, stabilising him before he made a fool of himself to the others - JARVIS' doing, without question, looking out for Tony even when he was pissed.

Tony sighed happily. He had the best AI _ever_.

 _"On the contrary,"_ Coulson calmly disagreed, _"SHIELD has adequate containment cells for such objects. I doubt Stark's tower truly has the necessary means, let alone the best, as you put it."_

Tony would've felt insult if- no, actually, he _did_ feel insulted, because like hell SHIELD had better toys than him. Tony could do anything they could do _better_ , in a day no less, thank you very much!

"The core is made up of a magic very much similar to the Tesseract's, as well as my own. Of all the people and organizations in Midgard, Stark and his creations were the only ones to be unaffected when I attempted to take control of their mind during the invasion."

Wait. _What?_ Sure, Tony knew Loki had tried to date-rape drug him (and that was no rape joke, Tony realised uncomfortably), but his _creations_ too? There was only one other being that had been around at that time, and that had been JARVIS - Dummy and the others had been safe in Malibu. Jesus, if Loki had tried to take control of JARVIS and succeeded, that would have been it. Goodbye, Mother Earth, farewell, sayonara, bon voyage and no happy returns.

"He and his creations are immune to this magic, and as such, are the best option." Loki continued, voice that snake like charm Tony had offered a drink to once. "Unless... you do not _trust_ your Man of Iron?"

Coulson, surprising Tony, did not immediately answer.

Tony had been sure Coulson would've replied with an affirmative that he most certainly did not, would've done it without breathing even, with no hesitation. Who ever trusted him to begin with? Not people, that's for sure.

Then JARVIS pinged a request on his HUD, showing Coulson requesting a private line. Tony frowned in confusion and curiosity, and accepted the request with a flick of his eyes to the right.

 _"You didn't say he attempted to mind control you and JARVIS, Stark."_ Coulson began with, straight to business as usual. _"And you and I will have words about you harbouring a fugitive in your home. I'm sure you have your reasons."_

Tony liked Coulson. He really, really did. "Didn't know about JARVIS, but yeah, he tried it on me. Always figured it didn't work because he touched the arc reactor and not any actual skin. If what he said about JARVIS was true, then the reason could be more because of the actual arc reactor than simple logistics such as skin."

 _"Very well,"_ Coulson sighed. _"The cube goes with you. Do take care of it, Stark. I'll run interference with Barton and Romanov so they don't label you enemy number two, right below Loki."_

Tony shot a thumbs up to the dark SHIELD van Coulson was no doubt camped out in now that the actual avenging had finished, grinning at his words. Circling the block, Tony took the offered blue cube thingy when Loki held it out to him, and frowned in momentary confusion a little at the slight tingle it shot up his arms. The cube, that was, not Loki.

"So, we going home now?"

 _"Debrief in oh two hundred hours, Iron Man,"_ Captain America confirmed, knowing keeping Tony around would just cause him and everyone else a headache. _"Try not to be late."_

"No promises." Tony grinned, making a rough break to the left with his boots and instead turning in the opposite direction. "Brucey, my favourite, tell me how the conference thingamagig's going? You smashed anyone yet?"

" _No_ , Tony _,"_ Bruce was quick to respond, amusement poorly hidden beneath his voice. As Tony flew to the roof of Stark Towers, Bruce went into a detailed explanation of some of the things he'd seen, engaging Tony into trying to figure out some of the stuff himself since it wasn't a field he was all that familiar with. It was interesting enough to take up all of Tony's focus, since flying was now completely instinctive anyway.

So all in all, a good day. Got some data on magic, got some avenging done, and had a lovely conversation with Bruce's incredibly sexy mind and dry wit.

Now all he needed was a drink.

#

Tony never got that drink. Instead, he got Thor squeezing the life out of him in a huge bear hug, demanding they celebrate the victory, and throwing Tony onto the sofa while he ambled off to the kitchen in search of snacks.

"Jesus," Tony wheezed, lying exactly where he'd landed, cheek smushed up against a pillow. "JARVIS, call Pepper, I'm having a heart attack."

"On the contrary sir, your heart is in peak condition." JARVIS blithely responded, his tone telling Tony loud and clear that he was still pissed about the whole lightning thing.

Loki wandered in then, dressed in his ridiculous, godly tight, leather pants and some weird top thing that looked half way between a cape and a cardigan, and primly seated himself on the love seat Tony used to curl up in with a drunk and handsy Rhodey.

Good times, that.

"That was quite ingenious," Loki greeted him with, resting his face on a pale hand. "And stupidly chaotic, taking Thor's lightning like that. How did it feel, if I may ask?"

"Indeed!" Thor eagerly agreed, walking back into the room with a hop to his step and about six large bowls of assorted snacks in his arms. "Regale us of your splendor! None have ever held under the might of Mjolnir as you have! It was a most marvellous sight!"

Wobbling his way up to a seated position, Tony bounced a little when Thor took a seat next to him, accepting a packet of oreos when the god offered it to him. "It was awesome," he admitted, kicking his legs up onto the coffee table and sighing in relief. "Like flying for the first time, or- or I don't know, JARVIS' first words, Dummy coming online, You and Butterfingers- ah, right, you guys don't know who Dummy, You and Butters are, crap. Anyway, it was totally awesome, and I'm probably never going to do it again."

"There is no _probably,_ sir." JARVIS sniped, zapping him on the foot a little where they lay on top of the coffee table that- oh yeah, how could Tony forget, he'd totally turned it into a mini holo screen after that time with the mutated flu thing. And then into having weapon capabilities after that other time with AIM and a sore throat.

Thor _laughed_ , always delighted at the way JARVIS sassed Tony, and picked up the remote and deftly turned it to god knew where. He looked completely at ease in Tony's living room, surrounded by snacks and drinks, remote in hand, laughing at Tony's pain, and Tony wondered - not for the first time - how he'd come to be something like best friends with a norse god.

Bruce he understood, because Bruce was his science bro and the Hulk his _smash_ bro - Bruce and his alter ego made logical sense, even if Bruce was still questioning the likelihood of karma not trying to screw him over with it - but _Thor_? Thor was loud and blonde and muscular and blue eyed. He was light and friendly and so genuinely nice but terrifying and capable of being a morally grey son of a bitch with how he'd pulverise anyone that hurt those he cared about. Thor was _royalty_ , and one that suited it, and...

Yeah, okay, Tony could maybe see why he totally liked Thor. But why Thor liked _him_ was beyond even his genius.

"Ah! A sequel has been made in the time I was gone! Wonderful!" Thor grinned, starting the movie and settling back. "Watch this, brother; it is most amusing."

Tony blinked at the screen, taking in the familiar image, and groaned when Loki frowned and said, "What is this _Despicable Me_ you've put on?"

Show a supervillian a movie about another supervillian playing nice.

Thor was _evil._

#

When Rhodey found out - told by Pepper, no doubt, his friends were all traitorous traitors that snitched on him with each other, JARVIS _especially_ \- he texted: _Figure it out in a year and I win that car you gave Happy. Don't fuck up or I'll give Hammer the specs to War Machine, no joke._

See? Traitors, all of them. Traitors that _bet_ on him and then threatened him with prison. Because everyone knew Tony would kill that asshole if he ever got any of his specs and thus Tony would end up incarcerated and become a prison king. It just wouldn't do.

Happy gave him a long, hard, look when they ran into each other (or to be more truthful, when Tony barged into his old office - now Pepper's - to bitch about Rhodey), and casually, with far too much lightness, said, "How's the magic thing going, boss?"

"A) I'm not your boss anymore, do you call Pepper boss too? Because that's got to be confusing, wow. B) don't think I don't know about that bet you have with Rhodey, I bet Pepper's in on it too, and JARVIS, because he's the shadow king of all you traitors. What do you win and how long do you think it'll take me, and how the hell do you even know about it? Jesus."

Pepper looked up, lips pursed. "... And C?"

"Oh right," Tony blinked, remembering. "And C) Thor wants to watch broadway. Pep, you like broadway. Take him."

"And have the entire media demand to know when I started dating _Thor_ and when we'll get married? I actually like Jane, Tony, so no."

Tony scowled, not impressed in the least. "If Foster thinks Thor would even _look_ at another person while she's still alive then she's not a genius, are you kidding me, he's so in love with her it's disgusting. Even _Loki_ agrees, though he's disgustingly fond of her too, it's so disgusting _everything's_ disgusting, please, Pep, stop the disgusting. Besides, I'll kill myself if I have to sit through a goddamn musical again, I _will_."

"It's adorable how she's Foster when you're displeased with her and Jane every other time, but the answer's still no." Pepper bluntly told him, swiping something across a paper that probably had _words_ on it, ugh. "Make Steve take him, Steve likes that, plus he could use a bonding experience with Thor. The media would love it too; the blonde, righteous Avengers of the team out for a good musical? It'd be good PR."

It would, Tony realised, plus it would fit in with maybe trying to make the team more... team-ish. That was a _brilliant_ idea, so Tony snapped his fingers, pointed them in Pepper's direction, and declared, "You are a goddess. Now seriously, tell me about the bet. And how you know."

"JARVIS told Pepper, Pepper told us. Rhodey thinks you'll get it down in a year," Happy supplied easily, because his friends were _traitors_ , even to each other - it was great. "And he wants the car you gave me... What, five years ago? Pepper thinks it'll be a year and a half because she thinks you'll be too distracted by Thor and Loki, mostly by Loki though, and she wants JARVIS to bully you into four meetings of her choosing if she wins. _I_ think you'll get it as soon as you save Asgard from magical ninjas- yeah, we heard, and I want an IOU from _everyone_ , so when I ask for something they'll have to do it, period, no matter what time, day, or place."

"And JARVIS?" Tony asked, feeling like he'd regret it as soon as he got the answer.

Pepper _snickered_ , Happy grimaced, and suddenly Tony felt like a dead man walking to his execution.

"Sorry boss," Happy told him, not sounding sincere in the slightest. "JARVIS threatened to turn me and Rhodey matching shades of pink if we told you. And don't bother asking Pepper, she's on his side on this one."

"When isn't she?" Tony muttered, glaring mutinously at one of JARVIS' visual sensors. "It's Dummy's fault, isn't it? He made you into this delinquent AI, I swear you used to be so cute and polite, and now it's like I don't even know you anymore."

"Think of it as the teenage years," Pepper said, voice wobbling as she tried to stop her snickering. She was failing, badly. In fact, she was failing so much that if failing was what she was going for than she was _succeeding._

Tony told her as much, spinning on his foot and stalking out of the office, ignoring the loud laughter that followed him in his wake.

"Too much to drink," he told the brunette that was probably Pepper's assistant, jerking his head back at the office where laughter was still audible. "Because of the stress, y'know how it goes."

The assistant nodded in mute terror.

It made Tony feel slightly better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end note is now a lie. i have watched endgame.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm at [multistarks](https://multistarks.tumblr.com/) because i absolutely love every single tony stark there is. and i still haven't watched endgame.


End file.
